


Why Are We Fighting Aliens?

by Emerald_Raven



Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms, Red vs. Blue
Genre: Aliens, Angst, Felix and Locus relationship implied, I mean it's RvB, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Minor season 14 spoilers, Post Season 13 and 14, RvB/Halo crossover, Season 13 spoilers, Small fluff, Violence, Vulgar Language, chorus, minor depression, stupid humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 16:02:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8452753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Raven/pseuds/Emerald_Raven
Summary: The war for Chorus has ended. Church's memory is gone and Caboose is very sad. The Reds and Blues are bored. Everyone's done fighting but refusing to leave Chorus so everyone's now living their kind-of-interesting lives on Chorus. Felix and Locus are still alive and out there on Chorus but decide to escape and abandon their mission and let everyone live. Everything is fine on Chorus. That is until unfortunately another issue arises for our "heroes" and everyone will have to unite to survive what's coming for them. Canon RvB universe until problem arises.





	

The sun was dead overhead, but it was distant, giving the surface of the planet a cool autumn feel. Birds were singing loud and proud. Running water could be heard in the distance where the river ran and soon fell several thousand feet into a lake. It was a quiet day. None of the people in the “village” were busy or active. It was one of those days when nothing was going wrong. No enemy ambushes. No system failures. No food or water shortages. No crazy mercenaries wanting them all dead. No mysterious conspiracies circling the group. The war was over. Everyone lived. Well, almost everyone. But this was a day to be enjoyed in peace.

“Hey.” 

A pause. “Yeah?”

“You ever wonder why we’re here?”

A very long pause follows. Then a large sigh. “No. I never wonder why we’re here. I never question our existence or our current location in an infinite universe ever. Are we really this bored?”

Another sigh. “Yeah, guess so. Seriously, why are we here?”

“Oh for fucks sake Simmons why is it always that question?!”

Grif and Simmons both huffed and sighed again. Simmons spoke up, “I’m just saying, we should have been killed by all those guys on the ship. And Felix and Locus. We defeated the army and everyone stuck on Chorus can leave and go to a better planet without the fear of being shot out of the air. So why are we still here?”

Grif paused. “You know what, I’ve been wondering that too. We should really get back to Earth. I need sugar and cholesterol ASAP and this place has jack shit.”

Simmons sighed, “Junk food huh? That’s what you go for?! People are starving from lack of anything and we still have those people risking their lives to get food here!”

“Rabbit food! I mean vegetables and grains?! Come on!”

“And we’re getting water from that waterfall that’s almost on the other side of the fucking planet!”

“Okay seriously, waterfall’s right there. But I can’t do water. I need soda, ice cream, and alcohol.”

“Grif, we’re still trying to live a survival life when we can seriously hop on that ship and leave right now.”

“Yeah, I noticed. But you know Sarge, he’s gonna make us stay ‘til the end. And Kimball still believes in preserving this place for some reason.”

“Well, you can’t blame her. She’s been living on this planet fighting this war for years.”

“She’s still crazy. Along with Carolina and Wash.”

Simmons remained silent with Grif and they stared out over the scenery from the top of their outpost. The heard footsteps approaching. Grif said, “Too quiet for Sarge. Too clumsy for Carolina or Wash or Kimball. Caboose or Tucker?”

“Oh, it’s just me. Again. Alone.”

“Oh. Hey Caboose. How you doin’ buddy?”

Caboose stood in between Grif and Simmons and joined them in holding their weapons at rest and just staring out at nothing. “Oh, oh, uh, I’m, uh, doing fine. You know, all alone but nah I’m fine.” He was definitely not fine. They had lost Church for the something-ith time and every time Caboose has had terrible recovery. They still had the AI Epsilon, but apparently Church erased his memory to clear the AI mind, which no one knew was actually being overloaded. Would they ever find his memory, no one knew. But the Epsilon they had now was just not Church. Caboose was not okay with this. 

“Caboose, you alright?” Simmons asked.

“Yeah. Maybe. Probably. Probably not. I don’t know. No. Definitely not.” He stammered for a few more minutes,

“Hey, Caboose-”

“CHURCH! WHY?!” Caboose threw his gun on the ground, looked up to the sky, and threw up his hands. “WHY DID YOU DO IT?! WE COULD HAVE HELPED YOU! YOU WERE SO YOUNG! TAKEN TOO YOUNG!”

Grif added “The dude was like 40 and he’s died like 20 times now.”

“But he was still so young and he’s died so many times. This torture has to stop!” Caboose picked up his gun and aimed over the edge of the base.

“Woah! Dude wait-”

Caboose pulled the trigger and the confetti fired out of his gun along with the horn sounds. “This is no time for a birthday party! This is time for a sad party! A sad party! With cake! But sad cake! And sad balloons! And sad birthday presents! And a dead body!”

“Dude, that’s fucking disgusting, and he didn’t even have a physical body this time. He lost that like the tenth time he died.”

“Grif, I don’t think that’s helping,” Simmons suggested. Caboose was still pulling the trigger which was still loudly releasing confetti. “How much confetti ca that damn thing hold?!” he shouted.

“What the fuck is going on up here?!” Kimball was immediately on top of the outpost behind the guys with her gun pointed. Caboose released the trigger and the confetti finally stopped. “Seriously guys! People are trying to sleep!” she screamed. 

“Sorry ma’am. Caboose was having a, uh, moment,” Simmons said nervously. 

“Ah, dammit guys.” Kimball hoisted her gun away and walked over to Caboose. “Hey buddy, still sad about your friend?”

“He was not just my friend. He was my BEST FRIEND!”

“Okay, maybe we should get you some food and get you back in bed. 

“Hasn’t he been sleeping all day?” Grif asked. 

“No, he’s been walking around the base and randomly stopping and staring at walls. Kimball explained tiredly. Grif and Simmons looked to each other and back to Caboose. “C’mon Caboose. Let’s go get you in bed.”

“Nope. Nope. No sleep. I don’t wanna go to bed,” Caboose replied stubbornly. 

“I’ll give you a cookie.”

Caboose and Grif gasped. 

“We got in a new shipment. I’ll give you two cookies.”

“Oh, fine. But only if they’re chocolate chip do not lie to me if they are raisins.” Kimball went down the ramp back into the base and Caboose eagerly followed. 

“I want in on this,” Grif said.

“Cookies are off limits to you,” Kimball snapped.

“What?!” But Kimball and Caboose were gone. “Well that’s evil.”

“Sooooo,” Simmons said. “What now?”

“Well now I want food,” Grif said angrily. 

“You always want food!”

“Well I’m obviously not eating any now. I’m gonna go raid the pantry.” Grif starting trudging away while holstering his gun.

“Grif, not a good idea. Remember what happened last time?” Simmons holstered his gun too. 

“Meh. It only lasted a day.”

“It was supposed to last a week! They only let you out because you fainted!”

“Yeah, I-” Grif used air quotes, “-fainted.”

“Oh you are such an asshole!”

“That’s how I live Simmons,” Grif sighed contently. “How I live.”

The two walked away towards the pantry, Grif ready to argue with anyone who tried to ration his food desires and Simmons ready to unwillingly back him up.

“What idiots. Think they’re at peace? Think the war’s over? Yeah, right.” He lowered his rifle and walked back up the ridge from his hiding spot to where his friend stood.

“The war is over.”

“Oh it may be, but I’m not done with those guys.”

“You think you’re getting a bit obsessed Felix?”

“Damit Locus I was thrown off a fucking cliff with a several thousand foot drop! I’m pissed now!” Felix kicked the rock next to him, completely shattering it to pebbles.

“Felix how about we not. It’s just the two of us since they actually managed to destroy everything. Let’s just steal a ship and get back to Earth or Reach and go back to being mercenaries for hire.” 

“And go back to shooting up clubs just to find the drug selling girl snatching boss?”

“Yes. Give us something better to do.”

Felix took off his helmet and glared at Locus. “What the Hell’s happened to you? You’re soft now?”

Locus removed his helmet too and said, “What was the whole point of this mission besides killing off a bunch of people on a poverted planet? Sure the people were putting up a rebellion for more attention. Plus the Reds and Blues were a threat and most wanted along with those runaway Freelancers. But something tells me they’re capable of much more than anyone thought. And we’re not getting paid for this anymore! Let’s move on and find something with reward.”

Felix gawked at Locus for a good few moments. “So we’re abandoning our mission?” Felix asked bitterly.

“Yea, I’ve changed, only slightly. Let’s just go. The people here are still fighting for survival anyway.”

“Why haven’t they left yet?! The can leave but they haven’t!”

“Stuck to the planet for reasons? They’re stupid? Who cares, I’m ready to leave this place.”

“Oh, so you’re just tired of this mission because it’s tougher?”

“I’m tired of the mission because it seems like we’re just gonna keep failing and I’m just tired!” Locus spat. Felix’s stubborn and angry look was gone. He noticed Locus was actually nearly out of breath. “I haven’t slept since we got on this mission. I’m just fucking tired!” Locus starting walking towards where their camp was set up and sat on a tree stump.

Felix followed. “Yeah I haven’t slept in a while either. Maybe we’re just tired-”

“I’m quitting this mission.”

Felix stopped immediately. He wanted to say something back but couldn’t think of anything cocky enough. 

“Want to steal a ship with me? We have enough cash to find a cheap hotel on Reach. If not you can stay here and try to kill all these guys. Good luck, they seem stupid, but I thought recent events would say otherwise. 

Felix stopped to think, but he was too tired to think for long without his head hurting. “Fine. Just fine. Let’s go to Reach and find something else to do,” He said bitterly.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll be in a much better train of thought and attitude after you get some rest too,” Locus said, this time bringing his cockines back. 

“Oh you shut the fuck up,” Felix tossed his knife into the tree stump between Locus’s legs and threw himself down on the nearest log. 

“Let me call Siris and see if he’s doing anything. Or is still alive,” Locus said. He pulled out his datapad and went to activate it.

“Didn’t he retire?” Felix asked. He laid back on the log and placed his hands under his head. “Ask if he’s banged and had kids yet. The guy deserves a break. Well, kids add stress, but he can do without a gun for a while.”

“Well, that’s not happening.” 

“Come again?”

“Something’s blocking the signal.”

“Well maybe the New Republic is paranoid-”

“Do they have the technology or knowledge to prevent me from using any data at all?”

Felix cringed in confusion. “Uh, what?”

“I can’t even access this thing! Something’s jamming the device altogether!”

Felix sat up and looked at Locus, who was already dismantling the device and repairing it in frustration. “Maybe you just broke it. Here, I’ll call Siris.” He pulled out his data pad and turned it on. His eyes widened when he saw the bright red  _ ACCESS DENIED.  _ “What the f-”

“Yeah, see?” Locus said. He had already fully repaired his datapad, but it also beamed the disappointing message. 

“Well shit! Alright let’s just get the Hell off this planet,” Felix said.

“The New Republic can’t do this,” Locus said.

Felix was concerned but realised he was done dealing with Chorus altogether. “Who cares, lets just go and leave them to their demise.” As the sun began getting lower and the birds got quieter and the water louder, the two partners sat and plotted their escape plan.

************************************************************************************************************* 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments I love comments I always respond!


End file.
